Autor Tópico: [Fanfic 4, cap. 18] Loyalty, Honor etc - Jealousy  (Lida 836 vezes)

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Offline Luinwen

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[Fanfic 4, cap. 18] Loyalty, Honor etc - Jealousy
« em: Novembro 10, 2013, 08:51:19 »
The Company had a lazy day, eating and resting at will; the river had good patches to swim and take a good bath, and other good patches to fish, and to fish some of them did, granting the meat the dwarves adored so much for their dinner. Gandalf came back just before sunset, as to keep himself out of the trouble of disobeying Beorn’s orders. Although grateful for the day’s rest, they were worried about their real condition at that house, and Thorin questioned Gandalf both about their host and about where he himself had gone all day long.
“One question at a time, good friend! And I will answer the second one first.”
The he explained that he had fallowed bear tracks back to the Carrock and that there were more than just one set of paws, meanings there were several bears gathered; beyond that, the tracks lead back to the burned pine trees where they had been hanging some days before, and then he could not go ahead without missing his time to reach back Beorn’s house before dusk.
“And I think this answers the first question, too.”


Next day they were woken up by Beorn himself, friendly and good humored.
“So, you are all still here, huh? Not eaten by wargs, killed by goblins nor smashed up by big bad bears, huh?” Bilbo looked up at him as if fearing the man could read his troubled thoughts. The huge man turned to Iris, who was somewhat hidden behind Bilbo. “And this little one here is no puppy at all, huh?” He laughed out loud. “Cutting open the Great Goblin’s throat is big people’s task, don’t you think so?”
Iris went red as her hair to the praise, and they all fallowed their host to the table to have breakfast with him. Beorn was in an extremely good mood, and before they could ask why he was so friendly at them he told them himself.
“When I saw the burned glade in the pine grove I knew that at least something of what you told me was true. But then I had the luck of finding a wandering orc and what was left of his warg, and I made them sing whatever there was to be sung, if you take my meaning.”
Beorn filled up his mouth with honey bread and told he found out the goblins and orcs were together in search for the dwarves’ Company and planned to raid everything around in search of them, as soon as they gathered themselves up.
“Now I know for sure what you told is true, I’m ready to offer you any help that I can. You can take ponies for the small ones and horses for the big ones to reach Mirkwood’s borders, and supplies to feed you for weeks, if you are careful. Large water skins will help you, too.”
He made clear inside the forest they would have little or no chance of getting water of food, and warned them against a dark watered river almost at the end of their track.
“Do not drink or bathe in this river, its waters are enchanted and can make you sleep heavily or get into forgetfulness. And never, mind you, never, go out of the path.”
They started at once to prepare things for them to depart as soon as possible, even if it would take some hours for baking some needed supplies. The women asked him permission to use his kitchen to make a traveling loaf recipe they learned back at Imladris, and he allowed them into his pantry to get whatever they needed.
“I hope we remember everything Lady Galadriel explained about making that lembas bread she told us about.”
“It should not be too difficult, once you got half a dozen dwarves to crack the nuts. I liked the ones Beorn has here, they remind me of Brazilian nuts.”
“Hmm, roasted Brazilian nuts would be perfect!”
“Then the other stuff is not so hard to get, the oat, honey, flour, butter, things you can find in any kitchen in Middle-Earth.”
“But the perfect recipe lies only in the golden leaves forest down south!”
The three laughed among themselves while preparing the dough to receive the nuts Kíli, Fíli, Bombur, Ori, Dori and Nori were cracking and mincing. Albeit they were worried about a possible orc chase and about the menacing forest they had to get through, it would be good to be on horseback again, instead of on their own feet. For ones who rode on horseback first time not quite a moth ago, it was sure a change.
Beorn gave Kíli and Lily new bows and a quiver of arrows each, even if he believed they would not find anything worthy shooting at all in the forest. But, just in case... Just after midday meal they departed from Beorn, heavyhearted by the dark road they were to take after four of five days from there.


The Company rode at a good pace, galloping whenever the terrain was even to gain time, and made it to the forests’ borders in four days. They camped for the night to grant a last good night of sleep before getting into that dark place, and Kíli went with Ellen to gather more wood for the fire to last the night. He had been talking a lot about Dís, maybe out of homesickness, maybe foreseeing what it would be like when they reunited in their retaken home, Erebor.
“I think I will like to know your mother. When you speak of Dís it is almost as if I already knew her. She reminds me of my mother. She always made me and my brother make the things that had to be done, no matter what. I don’t regret.”
“I am sure she will like you! She is not too fond of elves, as she is Thorin’s sister, but as you are Little Sister to Balin and Dwalin, she might be more agreeable.”
“I really hope so! I don’t use to have luck with mothers-in-law.”
“What do you mean?”
She didn’t grasp the harshness in his voice.
“Huh, the mother of ones companion?”
“I know what a mother-in-law is!” He was angry now. “What do you mean with not having luck with them?”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. 'Different cultures, don’t forget the difference in cultures!' she reminded herself.
“Kíli, I mean another life, at another world. Please.”
“You had a companion, there?”
Kíli was obviously hurt. She got to explain.
“Yes, I had someone by my side, long ago. Please remember I was human then, all right? He died long ago, I am alone since then. He...”
“I don’t want to know about your ‘companion’.” He gazed away, panting.
“Kíli, hear me, I can never more mention this person to you or to anyone, if it is your wish, because I see it hurts you. But I cannot change the past and the things that happened to me, and to my body, if you understand what I mean.”
He closed his eyes, biting his lips and clenching his hands. She touched his face gently.
“Kíli, look at me.” He gazed away. “I understand I may be not be what you expected from someone who dares to be at your side; I know your people has uses that... are no more usual, customary, amongst my people. But it does not change what I feel for you, nor does it change who I am. You came to me because I am who I am, didn’t you?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I am who I am inside of me, even if I took an elvish shape in your world, and this didn’t stop you from coming to me!”
“You have... lain... with a man...”
Ellen bit her tongue not to say that at least it was not with another woman, and then reasoned on.
“Now hear me, and you, haven’t you ever kissed someone? Your hands don’t behave like you never caressed a female body, do they?”
Kíli was caught off guard.
“No, but, see, it is completely dif...”
“No, it is not completely different! And do you want to know something more?” Now it was her turn to be angry. “Lord Elrond calculates my elf-age at least as about three hundred thirty years old. This means I am more than three hundred years without a single kiss before yours. Can you tell me the same?”
“Hey, this comparison is not fair!”
“And comparing worlds apart is fair?”
“I don’t care about worlds, I care about you!” He was still angry.
“Then, please, care about me and you, and about now and the future, not about the past and some dead person, for Durin’s sake!”
There was a stunned silence for a while.
“You asked me ‘for Durin’s sake’?”
“Kíli, if I am to be one with you, I have to be one with your people; am I or am I not Balin and Dwalin’s Little Sister? Does it mean nothing? If your folk is the people of Durin, it is Durin whom I will count on as forefather, and Mahal as Creator, even if it is elven blood that runs in my veins and Varda whom I hail as my Vali. I may be an elf, and have been human, but I’m trying to be the best dwarf I can.”
“Are you really doing this for me?”
“Yes. But sometimes it seems it is not enough.” Her eyes showed her hurt.
“I...” He felt ashamed for his selfishness and prejudice now, even if things still were completely different in his opinion. “I think my mother will love you when she has a chance to know you.” He said quietly, running his fingers through her hair, touching lightly her pointed ears, then reaching for her face, tracing the line of her jaw with his rough fingertips. “I should not judge you.” She nodded lightly in agreement. “You are here now, my fancy elf, and you have chosen me, and no one else.”
Kíli hold Ellen tightly and kissed her hungrily, as if to make up for the three hundred years she had been alone.


Somewhat after they all finished to eat and to gather their things so as to be ready for an early start in the morning they seated themselves down for their usual smoking and singing pre-sleep hour. Lily found a way to get Iris away from Bilbo, to which she seemed to be glued onto for some time, and tried to have a conversation with her sister.
“Iris, are you sure of what you are doing? I mean, you seem to be giving too much hope to our hobbit fellow, but, and when we reach Erebor and find the Gate, what then?”
“Nah, the Gate is a legend, didn’t you hear your precious Thorin say this? Why should I worry? We ain’t going to any world besides the one we are in, believe me.”
Lily breathed deep.
“Iris, this is what you want to believe. But the problem is that you are thinking only of yourself and not in Bilbo’s feelings. What will happen when you go back to our world?”
“And why do you think I must go back when you yourself and Aunt are going to stay? Or do you think I’m blind? I am far too humble, while you are getting yourself a king and Aunt is getting herself a prince, I’m only fancying a simple stay-at-home hobbit, what’s the matter?”
The dwarf-lass shook her head.
“For his age, he could almost be your father, Iris!”
“And how much older is Thorin from you?” Iris snapped back. “His nephews are older than you, you cannot say anything!”
Lily sighed.
“You are right, I cannot. But I am already adult, even if young, and back in our world I already have lived by my own decisions, and taking the consequences of them, for some time. I finished highschool, in which you just got in, I’m in uni, I work and live from my own money for years now, and even so I respect Father and answer to him for almost everything. You are still a teenager, you change your opinion as you change your underwear, how can you possibly take so a definitely decision as to stay here forever? Mind you, I mean forever. No turning back. No quenching of homesickness, no way back. Are you sure you are ready for this? It has been a hard decision for me, is it really so light on you or haven’t you really thought about all the consequences?”
The hobbit-lass kept quiet. It was obvious she didn’t.
“I... I must think about this.” Iris looked down at her hands. “I’m going to bed. I mean, to the sleeping roll. Good night.”
"I´m shieldmaiden, and my hand is ungentle."